It’s edging close to three weeks since Camp 2007 ended…and I’m overdue on completing my reflections on the event. Not that I’m offering any excuses but I had to allow a few other events of significance to take precedence over compiling my final thoughts. Not least of all was at the workplace; for which, upon my first day’s return to the office after Taiping, I unequivocally and unhesitatingly informed the company that I was leaving. And I summarily executed that decision too, in a manner most rejoiceful, 6 days ago. It’s kind of lengthy to go into details. So, I won’t. Abstractly, let’s just say that you know things have turned the corner when work practices/ethics begs questioning and/or are in direct conflict with one's faith. Nothing explosive, mind you but for my own peace of mind, I prefer not permitting my walk with God to be compromised.
I’m not going to chronicle about the remaining events of the three days of camp. There’d be too much to write and most of it would not necessarily bear witness to the rest of my own personal experience. Notwithstanding, for those who may wonder at what had transpired at churchcamp to have led me to adopt such a life transforming transgression as to choose to give up what other third parties would deem a pretty cushy job, I’m happy to advise that the answer is ‘NO’. No, as in I did not have any supernatural visitations (nor hear any strange voices) telling me to quit my job.
:P
However, there were other inclinations that had surfaced during those few days, but none more important to me than what I will share with you below.
Re-engaging God
In the few months that preceded the retreat, I had become acutely conscious of a wedge that had come between the faith that I serve and my way of being in the real world in relation to the former. Unfortunate as it seems, this consequence stemmed from my work as there was an unanticipated cost attached to the job; a price that I had not expected to be compelled into paying as part of the package. At this juncture, I once again decline to go into details. Suffice it to say that if the work and the promise of inevitable high rewards had meant more to me, I would have had to willingly succumb to oft accepting morality conflicts as a trade-off.
Now fast forward to a quarter of a year later. By now my instincts were ominously overclocking, indicating that I was already adrift off the shore. And slowly but surely, widening cracks appeared. I was beginning to feel worn down and it showed. Outwardly, my behaviour had become erratic on unwanted occasions, while decision making became unexplainably convoluted at the worst of times. Though not entirely lost at sea as yet, I had to be mindful of it; for I was aware of where I was headed if I did not throw caution to the wind. My spiritual health begged re-examination. Heck, I had even begun skipping Sunday worships involuntarily and I detest doing that.
The sojourn in Taiping had been lively and nothing short of fun. It was also shorter by a day compared to 2006 and I was sorry to see it end when it did. Regardless, as it was still a church based gathering by nature, it provided an avenue for me to return to the fold; to reconnect with spiritual roots. The prayer workshops conducted by our guest speaker (whom I must commend for never creating a dull moment) and the devotional sessions spent with my assigned camp sub-group could not have manifested itself more timely and evenly in my quest to re-center and endear my way of being with our Holy Father again. The theme of the retreat had been “To Pray and To Love” but for one who had been as spiritually challenged as I had been for this spell of time, the pivotal crunch came when we were posed this question, “Do you know where you are with the Lord?” When it was highlighted, it brought to the foreground for me a self-confrontational naked truth that resonated louder than all other existing aspects at that particular moment in time.
A God of Surprises
So it was to this small town that I came, asking for the Almighty to surprise me. As always, He did not fail me. He responded in no small measures and in more ways than one. Notwithstanding His generosity, there were several notable things that stood out; each leaving its own signature footprint on me.
The first of these was a motley crew of seven other people with whom I will be sharing my thoughts with, and with whom I shall have to work hand-in-hand with for the duration of the camp. This was the sub-group that I had mentioned earlier. Each of us were randomly selected and banded together. Quite honestly, with the exception of my Godsister-in-Christ, I knew very little about the others. But for the Holy Spirit anointing us with the elements of fellowship, this would all change rapidly. Very quickly, we learnt to knit ourselves together into a single identity. And in tackling the task the group had been assigned with for the retreat, we gelled when it mattered most. Indeed, being with and working in unison with this group of wonderful people turned out to be an incredible source of joy. At this point, I have to confess that the human weakness in me will always cave in and resort to intentional disassociation from the mainstream whenever I feel vulnerable. I become ill at ease with others around me. But this time, the abundance of goodwill generated by my fellow brothers and sisters-in-Christ was a factor that was not lost on me. Sheepishly, I have to admit to ceaselessly drinking from the pool of blessings that spewed forth from this pool of goodness. I suppose this was the lesson our Lord God intended for me to learn when He created the space for me to re-immerse myself into community by full association. And community is what really matters at the end of the day, is it not? No man is an island, as the wise would say. And so as I end my thoughts regarding Camp 2007, one of the things I ought to do before signing off is to acknowledge this sub-group who regarded and unconditionally accepted me as part of the bigger body of Christ through whom we share. Regardless of whether they were conscious of it or otherwise, I would like to thank them for the contributions they have made to my life at a time when I most needed it. Thank you, Bawi-li.
Oh, and then how's this for surprise #2….
An unexpected celebration.....
A candlelit cake.....
All round well wishes in the midst of the entire churchcamp gang bellowing out a song. I may have just turned forty three but this left me speechless. Irredoubtably speechless and happily stunned.
Thank you, God.
You’re just too good to me!
I am in awe of you.
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
Oh, regarding what had been troubling me earlier? Let’s just close that chapter of my life by saying that I’ve never been happier to leave a job to renew my journey with God. ;)
Amen to that!
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