It's not even 8.00am and I've already had my morning caffiene shot and come online. I had arrived in Kuching yesterday to bad weather and today's outlook don't seem to appear to be as promising as well. This may hamper the amount of work my rainforest co-conspirators and I have to execute on the ground over the next few days. What a drag.
I'm not in the best of forms either in body, spirit and soul. Over the last couple of weeks, it all started with a week of 'High'. That was when I was still holding onto that blasted key but thereafter when I lost it, the 'Low' began to creep in. Initially slowly but now gathering rapid pace, the physiological and emotional stress-load that's accumulating is taking its toll on me. Things are going haywire. I have not slept well for many days now. Just last night, the fatigue overtook me and I was finally able to fall asleep when it was one hour past midnight but the tossing and the turning then took center-stage and it hindered any chance I had at sound sleep. I finally gave up and wearliy climbed out of bed before the hour turned six.
All of these are debilitating and imparing me as a consequence. My senses are spinning around wildly like a Yo-Yo out of control. Everything I perceive seems to be accelerating on overdrive. If I do not exercise caution in handling this (and it's looking increasingly likely that I'm not), I may succumb and go over the edge. And throughout all of these, I have to tell myself to put my best foot forward because a lot of people are counting on me to deliver. To some, I am able to. To others, I can only pray for forgiveness for not being able to be fair to them.
Help me, my Lord God. I'm burning out. Save me.
Amen.
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